Make

Art is the name for the thing you see other people making.

The thing YOU are making, you don't tend to give it kind names.

You are making:

• It up

• Too big a deal out of things

• Everybody else pick up your slack while you waste your time and everybody else's

What do you want to make?

It's so hard to tell, when you are so motivated by duty and performance to score social points. It becomes, more like, what do they want me to make?

They want me to make:

• Them laugh

• Them feel good

• Them money

• Them look good

I can do that. And I do, do that. And after a while, we get back to the question: what do you want?

How can I know what I want, if I am constantly in the proximity of sensing the needs and desires of others? I need to push them away. Fully assert self-hood and be done with the "what will people think" module; a forceful self-assertive shove into the proverbial printer.

Now that I'm alone, what do I want to make?

I want to make:

• It right

• Amends

• People like me again

This is hard.

Is there any quietness where m…